We don’t always handle loss in the healthiest ways. Here is the way you usually behave when something big has gone wrong, based on your birth month:
You will seek connection. You will want to spend less time working and more time with your loved ones. You will want to snuggle up on the couch with your favorite people and do absolutely nothing, even though you’re usually ready to get up and go. You will feel a lot more inclined to relax than to work.
You will dwell on the past. You will search for answers, for closure, for a reason why all of this happened. You will have trouble accepting what you’re experiencing because you don’t understand it. And you cannot stand feeling this way.
You will cry your eyes out on a daily basis — and not only when you’re thinking of your loss. You will cry when watching movies (and commercials), when seeing a cute animal and when feeling thankful or annoyed. Your tears will come at the drop of a hat.
You will scream your lungs out. You will snap at strangers and the people you care about. You will get angry over every little thing that goes wrong (whether it’s dropping a pen or missing a show you wanted to watch) because you’re an emotional wreck.
You will use escapism to distract yourself from reality. You will jump headfirst into a new television series, watch your favorite movies on repeat, or play video games until your eyes are heavy. You will do whatever you can to squeeze at least the tiniest shred of enjoyment out of your day because everything in the real world sucks.
You will drop off the face of the planet for a while. You will either travel to a new place or will become a hermit in your room — but there is no in-between. Either way, you won’t want to answer your texts because you won’t have anything positive to say. You would rather stay silent than lie or deal with pointless small talk.
You will find a friend or relative with worse problems than you and you will dedicate all of your time to helping them. You will worry about what they’re going through so that you don’t have to worry about what you’re going through. You will use them as a distraction because it’s easier to deal with their problems than your own.
You will make a change to your appearance or your household in order to feel like you still have some semblance of control over your life — and in order to make yourself smile again. This might mean getting a haircut or a tattoo, or redecorating your bedroom or kitchen. Either way, you’re trying to start anew.
You will dive headfirst into your work or into a new passion or hobby. You will take on new projects in order to distract yourself from more serious problems. You will fill your head with as much information about other things as possible to avoid dealing with the pain.
You will go out and have fun, even when you should be focusing on work or your relationships. You will spend more time partying and engaging in unhealthy coping mechanisms because you want to feel something again. You want to smile, for real, for at least a few minutes, even if you’re hungover in the morning.
You will start burning bridges. You will cut out anyone who doesn’t deal with your situation in a productive way, but you will also cut out people who are trying to support you. Basically, you will want to be left alone. Nothing anyone says can help, so you would rather throw your phone across the room and keep to yourself.
You will crack jokes about the horrible thing that you’re going through. You will post silly comments about it on social media and never give anyone a straight answer when they ask you how you’re coping. You will act like everything is completely fine and laugh and laugh as if you’re dying inside.