The zodiac signs in the zombie apocalypse
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We all know that the zombie apocalypse is probably imminent.
It’s only a matter of time before we wake up and find our neighbors shuffling around in the middle of the street moaning at their longing for brains.
In preparation for this we must lock the doors, close the windows, stock the pantry and arm ourselves with large baseball bats.
Do you really have what it takes to make it out alive?
Read on to find out how each character deals with a zombie attack!
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Aries
Will fearlessly run straight into danger attacking the zombies.
Aries will face the apocalypse head-on – they will mobilize, strategize, and battle heroically.
They’re also capable of quick thinking and improvising when faced with an unexpected bunch of shuffling brain-crunchers.
By channeling their inner McGyver, a piece of string and an old flint can be turned into a Molotov cocktail.
The downside is that the sheer power of an Aries personality can create divisions rather than blind loyalty, and not all of their ideas are foolproof, resulting in casualties and collateral damage.
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bull
Will be well prepared and able to bunker until it’s all over.
The perfect post-apocalypse role for a Taurus is supplies and inventory.
Well organized and with an almost obsessive hatred of waste, the bull will make sure everyone in the bunker gets the same amount of food.
In terms of fighting the undead, this sign would rather stay in the bunker and take a well-deserved nap than risk exposing themselves to danger.
Their strategy might well be to look outside 20 years later, hoping that this whole zombie pandemic thing has exhausted itself and the neighborhood has now been purged of its need for fresh brains.
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Cancer
Will emotionally support her fellow survivors.
Cancerians are highly attuned and emotionally evolved.
After the apocalypse, her traits will be necessary to smooth out the trauma caused by the daily decapitation and blasting of zombies.
You will instinctively know when someone in your group of survivors is about to freak out or lose faith.
They will listen and dissuade people from their risky behaviors, but there will also be days when their moodiness throws the whole group into a tail-fin vortex of negativity.
That’s because they can suffer from empathy overload – best left alone on those occasional days – when the bunkers have a vacant space and suggest they spend a day or two there.
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Twins
Will be adaptable enough to stay one step ahead of the zombies.
Geminis love a challenge, and an apocalypse certainly ranks high in the extreme challenge rankings.
They’re fast learners and, thanks to their dual traits, can emotionally shut down when it comes to zombie slaughter.
Geminis make excellent 1st Lieutenants and are undeterred by strategic turns.
They are also excellent scouts, taking advantage of their high energy and sense of restlessness.
The down?…. They can reject squeamish survivors, and being locked in the bunker for too many days leads to cabin fever and rowdy behavior – keep them moving in the outside world if that’s at all possible.
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Lion
Will be both a fierce adversary and a charismatic leader.
Zodiac Kingdom, Leos tend to see themselves as leaders rather than foot soldiers when it comes to ridding the world of a zombie scourge.
Strong and fierce, they tend to enjoy flashy displays of power such as pyrotechnics, explosions, and nuclear warfare.
While their ego can sometimes mask the need for subversive tactics and graduated culls, they will listen to advice as long as it comes from someone they trust.
They can be lazy and only show up for the big events like catching and blowing up the zombie queen, but by stroking their egos in all the right places, Leo can be made to do just about anything for a healthy dose of mass glorification.
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Virgo
The doctor will be there who will save you from the abyss.
Some people have dared to call Virgos hypochondriacs, and it’s true – they embrace their afflictions with the tenderness and affection they show to a bunch of kittens.
But as the sign that rules all medicine, you’ll need their expertise to survive the apocalypse.
First of all, they are not squeamish and will see a gaping chest hole as a problem to be solved.
What they lack in bed handling, they make up for in hygiene and sterilization.
As long as they focus on other people’s grievances, they will not be as self-determined, and their work can lead to group survival.
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Scale
Will escape danger by casting a spell on the zombies.
Libras are generous, harmonious and extremely charming when they want to be.
You are a ray of sunshine and a powerhouse of positivity needed to soften the gloom and doom of a zombie apocalypse.
Extremely creative and imaginative, they are capable of turning the bunker into an ashram and composing songs to inspire the next foray into zombie territory.
The Libras may seem childish and naïve, but believe me, when they stop flirting with the zombie on the block, that’s your cue to show up from behind and blow his ever-loving brains out.
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Scorpio
Will transform into a silent but deadly zombie assassin.
Dark and moody Scorpios will focus razor sharp when it comes to zombie battle strategy.
They are also patient and willing to hold back and wait before unleashing the sting to end all stings on their foe.
Ninja-like, the scorpion attacks with quiet stealth and full commitment.
Negatives include exhausting everyone else with its intensity and enjoying zombie killings, just a little too much.
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Protect
Will keep people’s spirits up when all seems gloomy.
The shooters are always the life of the party, even if it takes place at the end of the world.
Fun and comical, they keep the mood up and spread light and cheer even in the darkest of moments.
However, at times their humor can be too edgy and offend the more sensitive survivors.
They are known to suffer from foot and mouth disease and don’t always fully understand the concept of tact!
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Capricorn
Remain calm, calculated and focused on the task at hand.
Capricorn is the sign intended to create stability in the chaos of zombie hell.
Trusted and grounded, they will identify and inspire skills necessary to defeat the marauding onslaught.
They are thoughtful and considered, able to clearly articulate flaws and advantages in everyone’s game plan.
They also lead by example and will not ask anyone to decapitate a zombie if they are not up to the task.
A handy token to have in the bunker or on the battlefront!
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Aquarius
Will try desperately to look for the humanity in all of this.
The Mermen will be sad – well, not everyone will be the laughing stock of Zombieland – they will question the events that led to the apocalypse and beat themselves up for not single-handedly preventing this catastrophe.
They may also be against killing zombies and suggest giving the undead their own homes, the right to vote, or access to synthetic brains.
To be honest, Aquarius is probably better off being bitten.
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fishes
Will question everything and embark on a spiritual journey.
Sensitive fish can drop dead from shock when they wake up on that inevitable day — or turn to whatever form of self-medication they can get their hands on.
If they survive the trauma of witnessing the world’s eternal changing and develop a reserve of reborn resilience, they have the ability to create the first post-zombie religion.
High-spirited, they might just offer salvation to our souls – or they might just become bloodthirsty fanatics – it could go either way!
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