8 ways to better understand your partner and deepen your relationship


Why understand your partner better …

How well do you know your partner? How well you know each other determines how satisfying, meaningful, and lasting your relationship will be.

Understanding implies mutual appreciation and respect for being who you are. 

In a relationship, we want to feel heard, seen and understood. When you make an effort to understand your partner better, they’ll feel validated, safe, and secure in the relationship.

This increases the emotional attraction and bond between the partners and leads to a more intimate and closer relationship.

When you show that you are interested in your partner and want to know what he is thinking and feeling, he will feel loved and cared for. He feels valued and appreciated. And he will return it to you with equal intensity.

We all have a fundamental need to be understood. And that can be a serious problem in any romantic relationship. Feeling seen, heard and understood leads to deeper intimacy and relationship growth.

But if you fail to show an interest in understanding your partner, it can easily lead to breakdowns in the relationship because your partner feels neglected, unappreciated, and unloved.

Understanding your partner can help you see things from their point of view, understand why they think and act in certain ways, and predict their reactions to certain situations.

It also allows your partner to be the real you around you without the fear of being judged or criticized. It allows you to be more empathetic and experience a stronger, deeper relationship.

How to better understand your partner

Your ability to understand your partner is just as important as love, commitment, and attraction. Because we are all unique and different, it is imperative that we make an effort to understand our partner and show them how much they mean to us.

Here are a few ways you can better understand your partner.

1. Be attentive

Make sure you are fully present when you are with your partner. Pay attention to what your partner is saying without getting distracted by unnecessary things like your cell phone.

Your only role is to be another being for your partner to share their human experiences with.

In addition to his words, you should also pay attention to his body language, as it is an important part of communication. By being more mindful, you can create a stronger bond with your partner.

2. Make time to get to know him

One of the most valuable things you can do is take some time to understand your partner better. Spend more time with him and have different experiences that evoke different emotions.

Don’t see him as your partner, but as an individual who has complex thoughts and feelings.

Once you start to know him as a person, you will start to understand him as a partner. So invest some time to know his dreams, fears, passions, goals, strengths, weaknesses and imperfections.

3. Be patient

If you are taking the time to know your partner better, you shouldn’t expect things to move quickly. You try to understand a person, their thoughts and feelings.

It took him years to become who he is today and you can’t get a crash course in knowing your partner.

Think of it this way: it’s a marathon, not a race. Know that it takes time. So make sure to be patient and allow the process at its own pace. 

4. Understand yourself first

How well do you know yourself What dreams and fears do you have? What drives you What are your goals in life and why do you have them? Before you embark on the mission to understand your partner, you need to understand yourself better.

It’s hard to process all the things that come to the surface and get in the way of just listening when you have tons of feelings and needs tugging at you.

Find out what makes you happy or angry, what motivates you, what inspires you to make certain decisions. Understand who you are inside. Knowing the answer to these simple questions will make it easier to understand your partner.

5. Avoid being negative

Negativity is like a carnivorous bacteria that can slowly gnaw at even the best of relationships. Constant criticism, complaint, and defensive attitudes can break the bond between you and your partner and make your relationship toxic.

If you blame each other every time there is a problem, you both become defensive. As a result, your partner will cease to be their authentic self and you will be prevented from understanding them.

These toxic relationship patterns prevent you from developing a truly intimate bond. So the trick is to take on some responsibility, just a tiny bit, a tiny little thing.

6. Listen before you react

If a problem arises, make sure you give your partner the opportunity to explain it before you react. No matter how big the mistake he made, or how disappointed or angry you may be, have him explain it.

Listen to what he has to say and don’t jump to conclusions. This will give you the opportunity to see things in the right light and see why he did it.

As always, communication is absolutely important. Focus on aiming for a solution in the conversation, rather than an emotional outburst that can damage your relationship.

7. Encourage him to open up

How well you get on as a partner depends heavily on how much you share with each other. When you speak openly about your innermost thoughts and feelings and choose to be vulnerable in front of another person, you are inviting them to meet your real, real self.

This is the moment when you really get to know and understand your partner. This is why it is fundamentally important that you encourage your romantic partner to be open about their feelings. 

Give him the space to share his thoughts and feelings and to talk about things that directly or indirectly affect his life and your relationship.

This is the easiest way to gain a deeper understanding of your relationship. However, it is also important that you share your feelings as well and open up to your partner.

8. Take a personality test

While most people dismiss personality tests with contempt, the personality test can be highly informative and help you a lot in understanding your partner or spouse.

Taking a personality test together is not only a fun exercise, but it also helps in looking at the psychological aspect of your partner’s personality.

Build a stronger relationship

Trying to understand your partner better is not an extremely complicated thing. All you need is love, patience, and the desire to know him.

Now that you have an idea of ​​how to go about it, just follow your instinct and give it your full attention. Of course, it will take some effort and practice, but it will be worth it in the end. 

Understanding your partner is the secret recipe for making them happy, experiencing unconditional love, and strengthening your relationship.


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