Are you attracting the wrong partners?
Many of us have experienced that we let someone close to us and then regretted it later. This article can help with ways to avoid toxic relationships and find meaningful relationships.
Toxic relationships come in many forms.
We may have thought someone was our best friend until she started making fun of us behind our backs. Or we’ve idealized our handsome new boyfriend without really realizing that he gets drunk every night, flirts with other women, and reacts annoyed when we complain.
Some of us spend years in unhealthy relationships that make us very unhappy.
One way to avoid these toxic relationships is to learn how to quickly identify mental disorders that bring a lot of relationship legacy.
Unfortunately, very few of us are trained to diagnose other people. However, we are very well equipped to recognize the effects of other people on us.
All we have to do is trust our gut instincts and pay close attention to how we actually feel with a new person. Below are some tips that can help you assess whether your new boyfriend or partner may be toxic to you.
NOTE: I use the word “toxic” in this article as a shorthand way of referring to all of the things we are exposed to in relationships that decrease our self-confidence and affect our physical and mental wellbeing.
5 Ways To Avoid Toxic Relationships And Find Meaningful Relationships
Tip 1: how do you feel when you are with this person?
This is the easiest way to tell if someone is healthy or unhealthy for you. If being with him or her makes you feel inadequate, boring, discouraged, ugly, stupid, ashamed, or otherwise badly, the other is likely toxic to you.
Tip 2: are you your best self when you are around him?
Some people bring out our best selves. When we are with them, we behave wisely and kindly and say and do interesting things. We feel smart, interesting, and capable.
Other people get us into trouble by bringing out the less beautiful sides of our personalities. It can be as easy as blaspheming or as dangerous as inciting us to inject heroin.
Many people have allowed themselves to be led into destructive and criminal behavior by so-called “friends”, which they would normally have avoided. There’s a reason we’re being warned: be careful with the dealings you use.
Tip 3: When you leave, do you feel better, worse or the same as before?
This can vary a bit if you are naturally extroverted or introverted, but in general there are some people who give more than they take and others who leave you drained and in pain.
These are people who suck your life away. When you leave their company, you feel drained and exhausted. Other people give back at least as much energy as they take.
If you keep feeling completely drained after spending time with this person, they are clearly not healthy for you.
These are people who joke at your expense or subtly devalue you. After spending time with them, you feel worse and worse about yourself.
This person stimulates you. When you leave, you feel energized and better than before you started hanging out with him.
Obviously, it is healthier for you to spend time with “invigorators” than with “energy vampires” and “demeaning artists”.
If you interact with someone and then feel similar to what you did before, that person can be considered quite neutral about your sanity.
Tip 4: do you feel more creative and inspired after being in his company?
Muses: We all have a creative side. Some people are very good at inspiring other people to think in new ways or to have ideas for a new project.
If you feel more creative and inspired after hanging out with certain people, they are healthy for you.
Tip 5: Do you do physically and mentally healthy activities together?
There are some people who are a good influence on us. In its simplest form, we eat healthier in their company, do more sports and have mentally stimulating conversations.
These are the friends who encourage us to take a new language course with them, which we have always wanted to attend, or to start with tap dancing, meditation or tai chi.
Obviously, they are on a self-destructive path and determined to destroy their own health, and they love to destroy yours too.
Conclusion: If you pay attention to how you feel in the presence of certain people, what kinds of activities you do together, and how you feel afterwards, you can distinguish which friends or partners are healthy for you and which you should avoid .