A healthy relationship requires constant effort from both partners. However, first of all, it must be based on a set of healthy principles.
In other words, the dynamics formed at the beginning are extremely important and can strongly influence the way your relationship develops over time. Therefore, it is essential to lay the right foundations.
Here are 5 things you should NOT do if you want to build a healthy relationship!
1. Don’t talk too much about past relationships
We know what you’re thinking. Of course, the past can be very relevant to discuss. Previous experiences can help you both not to repeat certain mistakes.
However, in the early stages of a relationship, it is advisable to avoid very complex and detailed discussions about your ex-partners. These can cause all sorts of intrusive thoughts, anxiety, feelings of threat, or “X was better than me” conclusions, now I have to prove that I can too. Toxic and completely useless.
2. Don’t let things go on autopilot for too long
The attraction is at its maximum, you have great fun and everything seems to be going in a favorable direction. Enjoy this period, but don’t let it expand too much without going deep.
Specifically, if you want a long-term healthy relationship, it is necessary to start talking about your desires and goals regarding the couple. Do you want to live in the same city in the future? Do you want to stay in the country or experience living in another part of the world? Do you want marriage and children at some point? How do you manage your finances and what are your goals?
These questions need to be answered in order to ensure that your relationship will not be compromised later due to misunderstandings or implicit wrong conclusions.
3. Do not draw conclusions based on past experiences
Your ex-partner used to walk away and neglect you when he was hiding something from you. After you discovered this, you suffered a lot. Currently, you feel that your current boyfriend has the same behavior, so you quickly conclude that there is something that does not tell you.
Does that sound familiar to you? It is a scenario that many of us experience and one of the biggest mistakes at the beginning of the relationship. In order to develop a healthy relationship, you need to understand that the past is not a universal rule, and before drawing hasty conclusions, it would be a good idea to talk openly with your partner. In the case above, ask him if everything is okay before you get mad at him for hiding something from you
4. Don’t let emotional blackmail happen
Emotional blackmail often begins with a game. A common “I miss you, and if we don’t go out tonight, I’m mad at you” joke can open a dangerous gate. In a healthy relationship there is no room for such dynamics, so beware of them. Even when it seems that things are not being said or taken seriously.
5. Don’t isolate yourself on a romantic island
We know that in the first months of a relationship, you tend to take your new boyfriend and isolate yourself somewhere, hug and completely in love. Although it is okay to do this for a while, if you want a healthy relationship, avoid isolating yourself in it. You both need time spent separately, independence, friends and hobbies.
A relationship in which you are the only two of you and nothing else matters can quickly turn into codependency. You certainly don’t want that.