How to deal with a broken heart and crawl out of the pit of despair
Being in love is one of the best feelings you have in life. But sometimes it ends and you’re left wondering how to deal with a broken heart.
I don’t remember anyone telling me how much crap they suck when I went out with my first boyfriend. Of course, when you watch movies, they show an unrealistic version of what happens. You look at your reflection in a pond, they try to get back together with you, and a better guy comes along. But learning how to deal with a broken heart has never been mentioned or taught.
In most of my interruptions, the aftermath was crying in my bed while stalking on social media, then I was forced out of the house by my parents to get me out of my bed.
how to deal with a broken heart
Nobody really tells you how to deal with a broken heart until they see you hit rock bottom. Then, the advice comes, “Oh, you can do better, you didn’t deserve” or “Why don’t you try to meet some good guys?” Advice that is practically useless and neither advice, more like statements. So, maybe you feel like your relationship is about to end or you’ve just come out of a breakup without much sense of what to do.
Don’t worry, we’ve all been there. What you need to do is just make sure you don’t get stuck in the hole of despair * trust me, it’s easy to fall into it *. This is not the end of the world, although it may seem like it.
# 1 Accept it. It won’t be easy, but if you’re trying to figure out how to deal with a broken heart, you really don’t have a choice. I mean, you can refuse but what purpose do you need? You would be stuck in this rut and unable to live your life. So, facing a broken heart means first accepting that it is broken.
# 2 A broken heart comes from being in love. That chest pain, the feeling of throwing up? This is because you are in love with this person. If you didn’t love them, sure, your ego would be a little bruised, but in a couple of days you would completely forget about them. But this is different, this pain comes from love.
# 3 You will go through the stages. Well, you will go through a few stages, many of them unpleasant, but it is life. First, it’s denial and I probably think it’s all a joke. Then, you will be angry. You can call them, yell at them, you know, be a little dramatic, I advise you not to.
So, bargain. This is where the “I should have” comes in which you transition into a depression. You will be really sad. Eventually, you reach acceptance and in that moment the healing begins.
# 4 Don’t doubt your feelings. You should never doubt the relationship or your feelings. You chose this person for a reason. Whatever the reason, there was something about them that you really liked and that you have come to love. What you felt wasn’t wrong or a mistake, those were your feelings at that moment and this person was what you needed at that moment in your life.
# 5 Stay out of the “what if” or “should I have” area. You can’t keep thinking about the past. It’s not easy to do, I know. There were probably a lot of things you had to have and could have done, but you didn’t. You didn’t do those things! So what do you want now? There is nothing to do but learn from it and work on your next relationship.
# 6 Not all romance should be lifelong. This is really hard to accept, even for me. Not all relationships should last a lifetime, even if that doesn’t mean they’re not important. All relationships serve as a learning lesson and purpose in your life. Just because there’s no ringtone on your finger doesn’t mean it’s a waste of time.
# 7 Face the pain or run. You have two options when you are trying to learn how to deal with a broken heart, and they are both difficult. You avoid your feelings or face them. If you avoid them, you will probably be successful for some time, but you will end up having a thirty year crisis.
If you face your emotions, you struggle at the beginning. So, get better. So basically, you either choose to fight now or fight later.
# 8 There’s no time to get over your ex.Getting over someone isn’t a race. There is no deadline in which you have to be completely above that person. If you were in love, it takes time to truly recover from the relationship. This person was your best friend. Losing someone so close isn’t easy to process. There is no rush, take your time.
# 9 Make sure you cut off all contacts. This is not for them, this is for you. Cut every ounce of contact with your ex. Don’t text them, call them, email them, nothing. Delete them from social media. You need to purify yourself. Otherwise, you would be stalking them online. We all do it, so do yourself a favor and speed up the healing process by cutting it off.
# 10 Focus on changing your thoughts. Right now, if it’s a recent breakup, you may be blaming yourself or having a little pity party about why nothing works for you and how you’ll die alone with eighty cats. Okay, we all have those thoughts. Trust me, they are normal. However, after some time, if you keep thinking this way, well, who’s going to say it won’t happen. So, change your mindset. You will find love.
# 11 Reflect on the relationship. If you don’t reflect on your relationship, how should you be a better partner for your future relationship? If you don’t process your emotions and just f * ck your way to your next partner, nothing changes. If anything, you might as well break up with your new partner for the same reasons.
# 12 Admit your flaws to yourself. You don’t need to do this right away, but if you really want to understand how to deal with a broken heart, eventually look at your involvement in the relationship and break up. Relationships are made up of two people, so even if you think your ex is an asshole for this and that, there are things you did or didn’t do that you should think about. See what you have done and be honest with yourself about your actions.
# 13 See how you reacted to the breakup. It’s not so much about getting over it, but more about seeing your emotional reactions and triggers. Maybe you called them twenty times after the break, yelling at them on the phone. Why did you do that? I’m not ashamed of you, I’m just asking you why you react the way you do? Is it anxiety? Anger? Fear? Find it out.
# 14 Don’t use bouncing as a means to make it through. Your friends may tell you that the best way to get over someone is to sleep with someone else. Incredibly, this doesn’t work. It makes you feel even more attached to your ex
# 15 This person isn’t the only one out there. This is going to be hard to think about right now because you are still hurt, but you need to understand that although you love this person, there is someone else out there that you can love. Will this new love look and feel like the love you had? No, you will never experience the same love twice, but that doesn’t mean it’s not the same or even better than what you had before.
Learning to handle a broken heart isn’t fun, but you don’t. I have a choice. You will need to repair it if you want to love again. So, take your time and focus on yourself.
