Saying you’re sorry is easy, but learning how to apologize the right way with these 8 essentials and 3 ways you can save your love and get closer to both of you!
Can clubs and cards say “I’m sorry” ?? but on their own, they just don’t cut it when you’re trying to give a sincere apology to the one you love.
When we sincerely apologize to someone, it’s because we want forgiveness.
We want to be relieved for whatever we have done or the harm we have caused.
And you can’t always get the forgiveness you seek when you simply drop a bouquet with a generic thank you
We apologize for the apology and you should take the time to formulate a real excuse with the following eight steps.
The 8 essential points for apologizing to a lover
# 1 Find out what exactly happened.Don’t guess what the problem is, ask your boyfriend / girlfriend or spouse to tell you clearly what you said or did to hurt them.
# 2 If you are at fault in the situation, you should take responsibility for your actions.
Blaming the blame elsewhere is immature and will bring you back, possibly at risk of your relationship.
# 3 You should prepare your apology, taking into account what you want to say and how you want to say it.Also, you should keep your apologies in mind, such as the time and place.
# 4 Answer truthfully. If you are not sincere, the apology will surely fail and you will return to square one.
# 5 Be grateful and thank the person for listening to you. Depending on what you have done, it may be more difficult than you understand.
# 6 Don’t assume you’ll be apologetic, and instead ask for forgiveness.
# 7 Remember to be patient. Sometimes accepting an apology can take time, and your partner needs space to think about what’s next.
# 8 Follow the word. If, in your apology, you agree to do something, or stop doing something, be sure to honor those promises.
Now, while these are the basic steps in creating a meaningful excuse, you also need to take into consideration the different degrees of excuses.
While a modest excuse might be acceptable if you forgot to call, that won’t fly if you’ve done something grossly unreliable like breaking an important vote.
Depending on the amount of damage you have caused, and the nature of the situation, you can apply the eight essential steps to apologize to one of these three different degrees of apology.
The 3 different degrees of excuses
# 1 The Simple Apology
The first degree of apology is for those little things that we might let pass without any excuses.
But if you truly love your partner, you’ll want to acknowledge even the smallest mistake and make a short but sweet excuse to let them know you care. Your partner will be grateful that he is interested in all of their wants and needs and has taken the time to explain why they are upset.
For example, my boyfriend’s job involves being assigned to many different promotional funds and events, which often run late into the night. I attend many of these events, but when I don’t, I just ask him to send me a quick message so I know approximately what time he will be home.
If I don’t get a message, I wake up late at night out of my mind, worried that something bad has happened. My anxiety is probably the result of losing too many people to car accidents, but it’s still something I need her help with calming when she’s working late.
One night he forgot to text me, and I sat down until 3:30 in the morning trying to contact him. His phone is dead and he hasn’t thought about sending a message from a friend’s phone. I was angry, all I needed was a quick update so I didn’t have to worry.
When he came home and I confronted him about the situation. At first he was defensive and didn’t seem to think he had done anything wrong. After explaining where my anxiety came from, he offered me the perfect simple excuses.
He kissed my forehead, hugged me and said, “I’m sorry you worried. Next time, if my battery goes out, I’ll borrow someone’s phone and let you know.”
Short and simple, but effective. If he had chosen to shrug it off instead of apologizing, I most likely would have harbored a secret resentment about that. It was something small, yes, but it still mattered to me.
# 2 The Nice Gesture Apology
No one is perfect, and sometimes even the most organized person can forget an important date, event, or responsibility.
I’m not a birthday monster but a nice happy birthday kiss, and tea in bed would be nice. But this year, my boyfriend forgot, and all I got was a hurried goodbye kiss, and no mention of expecting anything funny later that day.
Thanks to social media, my boyfriend realized his midday mistake and called me, and promised to be forgiven. He arranged a nice gesture of apology in the form of a dozen heart balloons * I’m not really one for roses * and a delicious birthday cake.
A good apology doesn’t need to be too big, but it can be too small.It should be enough to let your partner know that you are truly sorry.
# 3 A wholehearted apology
The third degree of apology is for those of us who have really messed up something big. This excuse isn’t to forget to call, or mix up a birthday. It’s in response to something that could cause a serious relationship disruption.
Sincere apologies are somewhat less of a concern about what you do, or what gifts you bring, and more about what you say and how you follow.
Imagine you’ve done something you can’t take back, and many consider it a headache – you cheated on your partner.
No amount of flowers or chocolate will offer your partner the excuses they need if monogamy was something you promised each other in your relationship.
A sincere apology should therefore begin with a deep reflection on why you are in this situation in the first place, and where to go next. Even if you’ve done something so great that it could spell the end of your relationship, you still need to offer a well-thought-out and thorough excuse.
You have to think about exactly what you mean and how you mean it. You have to be honest and insightful. Don’t say typical things and what your partner expects. Tell the truth, even if it sucks.
Sincere apologies are the hardest, because sometimes you won’t forgive yourself. The best you can do is offer your sincere regret, uphold the promises made after the apology, and try to learn from your mistakes.
Apologize in love
While these essential steps, and varying degrees of “I’m sorry” can help you if you’ve made a mistake in love and need to apologize, they’re not fail-proof.
Not all things can be forgiven. If you’ve done something truly threatening or cruel that could have a lasting impact on a relationship, regardless of whether or not an apology has been given, forgiveness may be hard to come by.
It is best to avoid this situation from the start, and instead be honest and trustworthy throughout your relationship. So you won’t have to make a lot of excuses.
So the next time you’ve fallen in love and want to apologize and apologize, big or small, keep these 8 essential steps and 3 different types of excuses in mind. And for your relationship, do the right thing!