Dating can be a slip up for many at times, and while some people tend to be lucky, others aren’t so much. The problem arises when two people are not on the same page when it comes to expectations for a date. If you take the person you’re dating seriously and want to introduce them to your family and friends, but they don’t, then chances are you are the victim of pocketing.
What is pickpocketing?
Pocketing is when the person you’re dating still wants to keep you a secret and never shows any intention of introducing you to their family and friends. It’s like they put you in their pocket and hide you from the rest of the world, hence the term “pocketing”.
Yes, it’s a natural thing to want to keep your relationship a secret until you’re 100% sure about it. But if a considerable amount of time has passed and the person you are dating still shows no interest in making your relationship public, then that can and should be taken as a warning sign. The act of plugging in is extremely hurtful and disrespectful to the person exposed to it.
What are the possible reasons for pickpocketing?
Some of the most common reasons someone might try to steal from you are as follows:
1. You come from a dysfunctional family .
There are many people out there who come from dysfunctional and dysfunctional families and feel ashamed of them when they grow up, even when they have broken off contact. One possible reason they didn’t introduce you to their family is because they are afraid of how you will perceive them and may even leave them if you learn the truth about their roots.
2. They are in a relationship with someone other than you.
This is a clear case, isn’t it? If they take you in, it could be that they are already in a relationship, or worse, married and have kids. They’re with you because they’re just looking for a casual affair or a “friends with benefits” relationship, and the only reason they’re not being honest with you is that they know very well that you are won’t agree with that.
4. You have a different religious and cultural background.
When you come from different cultural and religious backgrounds and it seems that there is an invisible racial barrier between the two of you, things can get complicated. A situation like this can make them unsure how their relationship with you will be received by their family and friends. You two might be open-minded about this, but the older generation may not.
5. You are still involved with your ex.
Another common reason your partner pods you is because he or she is still involved with an ex of theirs. Maybe they still haven’t moved on, or they should just keep their options open while they can. Or maybe they don’t want to officially do things with you until they’ve finally moved on because they’re afraid they might jeopardize their new relationship for an old one.
7 obvious signs they’re reaching for your pocket
1. They never invite you to their home.
There comes a point where your relationship seems stable and serious enough that you will go home to them, and that is a big sign that they are serious about a future with you. Because let’s be honest, how long do you want to meet other partners and have dates in bars, pubs and restaurants?
If they still don’t invite you to their home after they’ve been with you for a while, take that as a sign that they’re taking you in. They might have been to you a couple of times, but when the tables turn, they always seem to hesitate and back off.
2. They don’t like to talk about their loved ones.
You could talk about anything, but whenever the topic of family and friends comes up, your partner seems to be silent. They try their best not to talk about their loved ones and still change the subject or simply refuse to talk about them. It’s like you have absolutely no idea about her family.
Do you have siblings? What are their parents’ names? What are their parents doing? Do you have a good relationship with your family? Do you come from a dysfunctional family or from a healthy family? All of these questions are buzzing around in your mind without you ever knowing the answers.
3. They haven’t added you on their social media.
When it comes to dating, posting pictures with your partner is the norm these days and one of the best ways to tell people that you are taken. However, if the person you’re dating not only refuses to post about you online, but also hasn’t added you to their social media, then that’s a huge warning sign.
Granted, some people are very private about their personal life and don’t like posting much about it online, but if they’ve locked you out of their accounts in any way then you should reconsider the whole thing.
4. They always want to meet in remote locations.
Do you always end up in places that are quite far from where you are? And have they come up with the idea of meeting you outside of town more often than they haven’t? Well this is not a good thing. Going on weekend getaways every now and then is exciting and fun, but if that’s the only way the two of you meet, then you have to see it for what it really is.
This shows that they are trying to avoid places where there is a good chance they might encounter someone they know. Going to inconspicuous, secluded, and distant places shows that they are plugging you in and have no intention of determining the relationship they have with you.
5. They address you as their “friend” in case they run into someone.
One of the most hurtful signs that you are being pocketed is when you meet someone your partner knows and they only introduce you as a “friend.” They never acknowledge the real relationship between the two of you and fail to hug or kiss you in front of others.
Not only have you failed to find their friends and family, the worst part is they have no idea that you exist.
6. They only contact you when they want to make out with you.
They will always text or call you after dark because they obviously don’t want to be seen with you in broad daylight for fear they might run into someone they know. Please never understand this as mysterious, he / she is just mean with you and only sees you as an ‘easy lay’.
7. They never respect your time, but they expect you to respect theirs.
Another thing you’ll notice if you’re a victim of pickpockets is that they never seem to respect your time. They just show up whenever they want and expect you to just go with them without even asking if you have time or not. Whenever they contact you they expect you to say yes and if you don’t they blame you for how difficult you are; You are always expected to drop whatever you’re doing and think about them and their needs.
On the other hand, as for their time, nothing is more important than that and you should respect that. If you want to hang out with them but they are busy, understand this. They will dump you whenever they want, even at the last moment, but you just have to ‘
understand’ that they have ‘important things’ to do.
What should you do if you are a victim of pickpocketing?
If you expect to be cheated on, the best thing you can do is to speak openly about your feelings with your partner. It can be an awkward and scary conversation, but you need to tell them how you feel and that you deserve better. Ask them why they are hiding you from everyone even though you have been meant to be together for a long time, and if there is anything you should know about.
The most important thing is to ask them where you two stand because you deserve some clarity and transparency. Yes, this can be a scary conversation, but it’s better to know the whole truth than being with someone who may not want a serious relationship with you in the long run. It is always better to part with a half-hearted relationship than to stay in one and experience even more heartbreak.
On the other hand, you might know that they didn’t realize they were pounding you; they just weren’t ready yet. Having an open and transparent conversation could lead them to realize their mistake, and gradually they will become more optimistic and comfortable with you making their family and friends.
Communicating freely can help you understand the other better, take into account what the other person is feeling, and what their opinions, needs, and expectations are.
Have you ever been on the other side of the pickpocket? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!