This is true love: it pushes you to be better without trying to change yourself

True unconditional love doesn’t try to change you. Indeed, your partner must accept you as you are and encourage you to become the best possible version of yourself.

Here is a difference that you must understand well: changing someone and encouraging them to become better are two different concepts.

In fact, when you try to change a person , you want them to become different in the sense that you want to make them the partner you imagined in your head.

So, you want to modify the character traits that you don’t like so that they match your own ideal.

It is something completely selfish and, above all, it goes against love itself.

If you love a person, why do you want to change them? It doesn’t mean that you love that particular individual, but that you just love being in a relationship.

On the other hand, encouraging someone to become better is a completely altruistic act and devoid of self-interest.

Indeed, you love and you accept your partner as he or she is but you want the best for this person.

So you give her the support, the strength and the courage to pursue her dreams. You want him or her to become a person that he or she can be proud of.

Basically, you don’t need your partner to change but you are aware that your partner has to change to be happy and satisfied.

In our modern world, true love is hard to find.

At least that’s what most of us think. But, is this really the case? Well, maybe it’s our fault …

Indeed, we may have defined love in a completely wrong way.

When we fall in love, we also have to deal with the flaws and negative sides of our partner.

And, right away, we try to “fix” what doesn’t suit us. Thus, instead of accepting the other as he is, we seek to change him.

In short, it’s hard to love someone for the person they really are. I have the impression that we like the idea of ​​love or being in a relationship more than our partner.

Am i wrong?

You think you have discovered the miracle recipe for loving your partner.

So, to make life easier and to be more in love with our other half, we try to change it in order to make it correspond to an ideal that we have created in our head.

This perfect person is not real, it is only the figment of our imagination. However, we set ourselves the goal of transforming our partner into this idealized being.

But, love is much more complicated than that. Indeed, being in love with a man means that you accept him as he is at that precise moment.

With its qualities and its faults… So, we must welcome with open arms its positive sides and its negative sides, without trying to exclude or change what does not please us.

To love is also to accept the worst sides of your partner.

If you fall in love with a man who does not meet all of your standards, that is, who does not fit all of your predefined boxes of the ideal partner, your efforts to change him will be in vain.

Indeed, if you try to change what you don’t like about him, are you really in love with this man?

You will invest a lot of energy and time to make him your perfect man and you will be frustrated with the result.

Well yes, you will never get what you want! And, your annoyance will be justified, for you …

But, for him, it will be completely unreasonable. Indeed, is he really meant to change for you?

This is THE question you must ask yourself. Aren’t you supposed to mature and grow together, rather?

I think so… You cannot change your man to match your ideal because love is not about satisfying your own obsession or idea of ​​perfection.

The modern world has made us forget the difference between true love and false love.

The problem with modern society is that the line between true and false love has become completely blurred.

Indeed, it is difficult to differentiate these two concepts. We are just trying to force our other half to change.

We really want to make it correspond to the letter to a vision that we have imagined. Still, there is a simple alternative to this problem.

Indeed, we can encourage our partner to become better, for his own good, without forcing him to do anything.

We should therefore respect the limits and the comfort zone of our half without ever going beyond the reasonable and the acceptable.

Forcing someone to change is completely selfish.

When you force your partner to be someone else, you are showing yourself to be selfish and self-centered.

Now, love cannot be selfish. He is selfless and understanding. No one is perfect and this is perfectly normal and acceptable.

You can love your man with his imperfections, despite his imperfections. Besides, you have to keep in mind that people change naturally during their life.

Indeed, sooner or later, your partner will realize his faults and he will work of his own accord on his personal development.

But, honestly, it doesn’t matter that much whether it changes or not. What should be important is that you, as a partner, help and support him during difficult times.

So, you should work on your romantic relationship as much as your man works on your relationship.

It should be a team effort! 

You have to change for yourself, not for someone else.

If you put yourself in the other position, you will understand better that you cannot be in a relationship with someone who only loves certain aspects of your personality.

If your man didn’t accept you for who you were, would you even consider staying with him?

When you find true love, you feel free. And, you are comfortable enough to show who you really are.

So you can get rid of the pretense and you can stop lying. After all, you are a human being.

You have wounds and desires that are unique to you. And, all of that is normal. No need to change anything.

A true partner will always love you, no matter what!

What does real love look like?

Do you want to know what real love really looks like? You know the one who takes you by the guts and makes you feel like you’re invincible.

Yes ? Like everyone ! So here are the 10 biggest telltale signs that prove you’ve found ‘the right one’:

1. You are not trying to change or “fix” the other.

If you have found true love, neither your partner nor you are trying to make your relationship perfect in the eyes of others.

And, you are not trying to match the other to an ideal standard that you have created in your head.

2. You accept that the other has flaws and you don’t mind.

You like yourself. Point bar! The faults are also what attract you the most in the other. Indeed, you find them almost funny.

You accept yourself as you are and neither of you pretends to be perfect just to allow yourself to criticize the other.

3. You don’t spend your time ignoring yourself.

When your boyfriend calls you, you answer him. When he receives a message from you, even a simple “Hello”, he takes the time to write to you.

And, when one of you walks into a room, the other greets you with a smile. In short, you like spending time together and you enjoy every moment.

4. Respect is essential for you.

You both know that you are teammates. Neither of you feels like you’re superior, and you respect each other’s boundaries and opinions.

Your partner is not trying to take control of your life and you are not trying to manipulate him to get what you want. You have admiration for each other and a lot of respect.

5. You take care of each other.

When one of you is sick, the other is thereby your bedside to keep him company and take care of him.

You also pay attention to everyone’s needs and desires so that no one feels left out or forgotten. In fact, you are always there for each other.

6. You support yourself.

Whether it’s to celebrate a success or to offer a shoulder to cry on, the two of you are always there for each other.

Your partner doesn’t run away when he sees you depressed and you don’t avoid him when you realize he has a problem. You face it all together!

7. You communicate freely.

Between you, no subject is taboo. You can talk about anything without being ashamed of your opinion or afraid of being criticized or judged.

You both feel safe and accepted enough to be yourself. Even difficult subjects are not a problem for you because you prefer to solve everything as soon as possible.

8. You and your partner have similar long-term goals.

You don’t necessarily agree on everything. But, you are going in the same direction. For example, you both want to start a family.

Or, on the contrary, you prefer to be alone so that you can travel and discover the world. If you have incompatible goals, it can quickly become unlivable.

9. You are comfortable with each other.

Indeed, you are not ashamed of your physical defects or your lack of knowledge in certain areas. You are as you are and you know that each one accepts the other like that.

You feel comfortable in your relationship and you are not afraid of the other’s judgment. After all, you love and compliment yourself.

10. You don’t feel like you are missing anything.

Do you know that “Je ne sais quoi” that hangs over your head like a sword of Damocles? You have surely already known that.

In the past, you always felt like your romantic relationships weren’t complete. From now on, this is no longer the case. You think you have found each other perfectly like two fingers of one hand.

This is true love: it pushes you to be better without trying to change yourself

Related Articles

Back to top button