Oops! 10 mistakes that immediately spoil your relationship
All couples in long-term relationships have experienced failure by relentlessly committing the same bad habits.
Yet some of these common mistakes are quite preventable!
1. Make his partner our whole life
It cannot be repeated enough: you don’t have to do everything together or do everything for your partner.
Have your own opinion, your hobbies and live your own experiences!
You should not allow yourself to lose your identity or your independence. Not only for the obvious reasons, but also because you want to stay interesting to your guy. And for yourself too.
Small parenthesis, if your partner wants your world to revolve only around him, it can be a sign that he is a narcissist. And that is BIN. Direct.
2. Don’t listen to each other
Communication is the most important part of a relationship.
By paying more attention to the way you communicate with your sweetheart, you can prevent small concerns that don’t turn out to be big bumps out of nowhere.
What often happens is that we are so determined to deliver our own message that we forget to listen to what the other person is saying.
If people don’t feel heard in a relationship, it inevitably leads to problems.
3. Growing up separately rather than together
Life is made of changes, all the time. And over time, relationships will change as well. At each stage of the relationship, your needs need to be realigned.
If you both keep heading in the same direction, that’s fine; but if you seem to be sailing in the opposite direction it is bound to create tension and worry.
It can happen from time to time without damage but if you do this for a long period of time you will inevitably move away from each other.
You need to communicate with each other, talk about your values, and continue to share your expectations to make sure the other person knows what you want.
4. Not seeing the efforts made or forgetting the good things
Many of us automatically focus on what is wrong with our relationship and what we would like to change in our partner.
While it can be helpful to recognize the things that aren’t working and take action to fix them, it can often distract us from what is working and the positive things our sweetheart is doing for us.
When we show him our appreciation, it reinforces in our companion the feeling that his efforts are seen and considered.
He will therefore be more inclined to do more instead of becoming “lazy” or defeatist.
5. Compare our relationship to those of others
We live in a world where misery, as well as the happiness of others, can affect our own state of being.
And with social networks, everything is within reach of everyone.
An easy way to accidentally ruin your relationship is to compare yourself to others and take that bad energy home.
But every relationship is different, not to mention what you see may not always be true.
You have your own story, your own relationship, and you both try to do your best, okay?
6. Agree with everything our partner says
Communication is vital to having a healthy relationship, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have your own thoughts and opinions.
In an age where you can be made to swallow anything and everything, it is relatively healthy to do your own research and practice critical thinking.
Your partner should respect you more for it, not make fun of you.
Talking freely is a sign that you are completely comfortable in your relationship.
7. Do not admit your wrongs
It is important to know when and how to apologize to the other person. Just like resolving a conflict without letting it rot in a corner.
But for some people, an apology is like an admission that it is insufficient. They think that, rather than making a mistake, there is something wrong with them.
Others believe that offering an apology after an argument first is an admission of guilt and responsibility for the whole conflict.
And sometimes an apology seems to draw extra attention to a mistake that may have gone unnoticed.
However, under the right circumstances, a well-made and sincere enough apology will usually avoid all of these problems and simply serve to resolve an argument, reaffirm shared values, and restore positive feelings.
You just need to know when and how to apologize.
8. Snooping around for reassurance
We do or all have.
Yet snooping can only create problems.
Either you get caught or find something you don’t necessarily want to find.
But one thing will always happen: you will always read something you don’t understand or you will misinterpret it.
Your imagination runs wild and it turns into an argument that should never have happened.
If you have any doubts, you must speak about it directly and if, despite the discussions, you are not reassured, it is that there is something that is really stuck (at your place or at his place). The game is rarely worth the effort.
9. Stop trying
This is what usually happens when you get too comfortable with someone – you just stop bringing freshness to your relationship.
You stop praising him / her and treating him / her like they are someone special.
You stop devoting time and thought to parties and dates, and you also stop trying to impress her.
Relationships take effort! So if either of you stops trying, it’s bound to be a problem at one point or the other.
10. Using our partner’s past against him
It is absolutely to be avoided during an argument. And it is very difficult.
But when you’re in a relationship, you should only focus on the present and the future.
No matter how brutal a shouting match, you should avoid bringing up an event from the past. You have to leave it behind.
If your guy cheated on you or did something stupid that hurt you at some point, it’s a bad idea to talk about it again and use him as “ammunition” in your fight.
You have to leave the past in its place.
Forgiving, for real, and the two of them deciding to move on, means not putting the mess from the past back on the table. Otherwise, it’s because you haven’t really forgiven and you’re hurting yourself for nothing.